Marrow
by blahosaurus
Summary: The eight-tailed demon will never cease howling, but when Kimamaro is near, Juugo's mind stills. Kim/Juugo. One Shot.


**Marrow**

For every two words Juugo thought, one of them was _kill_.

He would sit in the monster-proof cell and rot as his hands itched to the point of blisters. His teeth would bare, head pound, blood burn. He would clutch his hair and think

_Kill it. Kill him. Kill her. Kill me. _

Agony was like air; a part of his life since the day he was born. His Life consisted of twisting and turning and writhing and screaming for it to stop, _but it didn't_. It just kept on whispering in his head, a voice so intimate it had become part of him. The Eight-Tailed-Bear clawed inside of him and ripped chunks of his mind apart; killing, killing, killing. The noise dripped blood inside him until he was filthy with it, filthy wanting more, more, more. Until Kimimaro appeared.

The door of his stone prison rattled open, letting the dim, artificial light Kabuto liked in. Framed by the door so that he was a mere shadow stood a little boy, no older than him, his eyes as hard and cold as bone, ringed in red.

Juugo didn't even have to think, _couldn't _think. He just lunged for the kill at once, a crawling darkness creeping over his skin, eating colour and reason away. But for the first time in his life he missed. No matter how many times he attacked he didn't land a blow; the other boy's body was quick and in itself deadly as bones spiked from under the skin to slice at Juugo's until he was spent on the cell floor, defeated.

From the cell entrance a voice said _well done, Kimimaro_, and then left them in silence.

It was then, when he recognised another that was stronger than himself, that the demon retreated to leave a hollow peace inside Juugo's mind. A deadly stillness came over him, one that was sparse in occurrence and treasured. He blinked away tears and looked up at the pale boy with moonlight hair that was so close to saving him. For a moment, a moment, he was free.

"Kill me. Please, please, kill me. Do it now, now, please, before he comes back. Kill me kill me before he comes back; please, please, please," Juugo spilled, clutching his silent head.

"Please, please, please," he groaned but the door was already closing and the boy of bones was leaving with an _Orochimaru told me just to test my skill_.

Another puppet in the show.

And when the beast came back it grinned at the strength he lived for.

That night was the start of not so much a disruption as it was the beginning of a new routine. It was composed blearily of being subjected to experimentation and battle and pain as they switched from hide-out to hide out like some kind of perverse circus with Juugo the deadliest kind of freakshow. In between that endless imprisonment simply stood Kimimaro, the few hours of placebo fresh air he could taste. They would train most of the time under Orochimaru's orders, the demon thrashing in enjoyment as he met a match for his vessel. Sometimes, however, they would retire to his room that smelt like a metallic sort of grime and sit there, enjoying the silence that was so vast that sometimes, as Juugo looked at the sky and trees and sand and earth from his window, he could hear the birds talk between one another, saying, _don't come close, don't come close, there's something in there, don't come close. _

Sometimes the two of them would talk, softly, mostly about the past; the road that had lead them to that moment. About Kimimaro's search, Juugo's escape. The desperation of the shadows which could not find a body to correspond to. About the monsters in both of them.

As time passed, however, it was made clear that each of them was loyal to only what they wanted. For Orochimaru, Kimimaro would end Juugo's life, if it was asked. And for the eradication of himself Juugo would kill Orochimaru and so betray Kimimaro in an instant.

Despite this, however, the thread that bound them did not break. In a world of snakes and corpses they sought each other and knew, _you understand_, for Kimimaro never asked why Juugo wanted to die. And neither did Juugo ask why Kimimaro followed Orochimaru as if he had no one else when he so clearly did, if Juugo was anything at all.

Months and years and lives passed and Juugo watched the demon in him grown and takes over others like a manipulated disease. Watched them enjoy the taste of its poisonous power as it slowly killed them like it refused to do him.

At the same time he watched Kimimaro weaken, a fish out of water gasping for air he wasn't supposed to breathe. He saw how his comrade's life was seeped of purpose as Orochimaru turned away from him and unto bigger fish with brighter eyes. He saw his only friend, his escape, sicken and pale and lose.

The day before the Uchiha arrived, Juugo knew it would be the last time he saw Kimimaro. The monster in him laughed a scream that growled; _weakness_.

They sat side-by-side in that addictive silence. If Juugo had known anything about love he would have defined it then. If he had known what a kiss was he would have pressed his lips to Kimimaro's and feel his skin instead of his bones. His tongue and nails and eyelashes and hair instead of the side of a blade. Not for the romance of it, or the affection, or even the feeling, but for the meaning of it.

Instead he simply lifted his hand and pressed it against the other man's chest, where his own one hurt, and did nothing else. The knowledge that he could attack at any moment, and so could Kimimaro, simply served to made the moment more deliciously bitter as it said everything it was supposed to. Inside Juugo screamed in his own voice, _don't go. You're sick, you're going to die, I know you are, don't go, don't go. _But their friendship wasn't dependant on each other; it was dependant on that which brought them together and nothing else. The loyalty stopped there, the bonds reached only so far.

Before Kimimaro closed his door to freedom for the last time he looked through and thanked him for the power as Juugo clenched his jaw and tried not to say thank you back.

"See you later," Kimimaro whispered and the door closed, locked, like he never forgot to do. And all Juugo could think was

_Liar. _

And the demon inside him awoke fully once again.

**OoOoO**

**A/N**

I'm guessing this is a rare pairing but after Juugo's flashback and the information we gather on the two of them this seemed feasible... I don't like how this came out though, as if it's missing something, some kind of depth beyond what I wrote but...I don't really connect with these characters enough to change it so I'm posting it as it is.

Oh and the style is repetitive for a reasons 9lots of ands instead of commas, for example) to show an edge of insanity :D. Whooweeee

Feedback will be greatly appreciated:3


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